Thanks for being patient with my off-kilter posts the past few weeks. Winter illnesses and life are both keeping us on our toes over here. Fingers crossed we’ll be back on schedule soon!
Permission slip
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the percentage of things that go wrong or right in life and whether they’re related. My brain has the tendency to believe that life is like a line graph where you go through ups and downs, but ultimately they balance each other. In this version of life, every bad thing is balanced by a good thing and vice versa. And if there’s a string of bad things that happen, all you need is one good thing to turn the tides and then a bunch of good things will come next.
This year has felt like a series of unfortunate events so far for me, so when I received good news last week, I was relieved. Finally, my luck is going to change, I thought. But not even two days later, I was hit with another Big Difficult Thing, so fast that I didn’t even have time to celebrate the Big Good Thing. It left me feeling apathetic, somewhere in between happy and angry, and wondering why the universe didn’t have my back like it was supposed to.
When life feels out of control, I crave the comfort of believing in this kind of balance. That if I do all the right things, or even simply if I am patient enough, eventually I’ll be guided through and reach a smooth sea.
What I actually believe is that life is more like a plot graph where the x-axis spans difficult things to good things and the y-axis spans our ability to cope, from prepared to not prepared. Everything that happens to us gets plotted according to both and maybe, over the course of our lives, the four quadrants will feel fairly balanced. But in all likelihood, they won’t.
We don’t have much control over where each event gets plotted on the x-axis, but the y-axis is up to us. And that’s what gives me true comfort—I don’t have to wait for the universe (or something) to tip things back in my favor. I get to trust myself and my resources.
And if I don’t have them yet? I get to have the very human experience of muddling through until I do.
This month’s recs
Considering aesthetic water table options for my toddler for the summer: I know I’m just going to get the same ugly one everyone else buys but what if I could build my own?
Thought this show was cheesy at first but then I got way into it.
I keep seeing this book everywhere and I really want to read. It feels like a physical book kind of experience to me though so I’m waiting for the paperback.
Your semi-regular reminder that my most anticipated cookbook of 2024 is out at the end of the month.
Also in big upcoming releases news: version 1.6 of the best video game to ever video game.
Still wondering this all the time.