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Permission slip
I’ve never “come out” publicly in any real way, unless you count on Twitter in 2020, or laughing that I’m not “100% straight,” or putting a certain pride flag on my Instagram story once a year. Some people use the phrase “coming out” to refer to when they announce they’re leaving the church they grew up in (I don’t know if that should be allowed), but I also already did that whole thing, talked a lot about how it had a lot to do with my prior church’s stance on LGBTQIA+ issues, and it was kind of enough for me.
But then Pride comes around every June and I get a bunch of complicated feelings about how on one hand I don’t want to hide a part of my identity like I’m ashamed of it or worried about what people will think, but on the other hand I’m in a straight-presenting relationship and have never been in any other kind so does it even really matter? I can never come to a real conclusion so I keep putting those little GIFs on my Instagram story and moving on.
Now that I have a kid, though, it seems like these questions continue to turn over in my mind. Because when I really think about it, about his future, I know I don’t want him to “come out” either. I want a world for him where his sexuality or gender identity is never assumed, where there is no default, where he sees the diversity of life and love all around him. Where he can marry whoever he wants, be whoever he wants. Where he won’t have to be scared if he chooses different pronouns. Won’t have to be scared he’ll lose his friends to suicide. Won’t have to be scared to shop for t-shirts at Target. Won’t have to be scared.
I don’t know if we’ll see that kind of world soon, but for now, I’ll take him to the pride parade each year. I’ll talk to him about how I’ll always love him for who he is, whoever he is, and how we’ll do the same for everyone else. I’ll try not to be scared myself.
I probably still won’t come out, but you can always keep an eye on that Instagram story. 💖💜💙
This month’s recs
I’m not really a series reader, but I could truly, cross my heart, keep reading this one for a lifetime.
One time my partner was convinced he could make peanut butter rice krispie treats without a recipe. Trader Joe knows that’s a bad idea and also unnecessary.
Sent this to a friend as a joke but now I kind of want it.
Haven’t watched a TV show in many moons, but season 2 is a priority (iykyk).
An extremely important cookbook to preorder!
Honestly, my recs kind of suck this month because I’ve lost all my free time to google searching the gloom.